The Good, The Bad and the Ugly: 8 Relationship Dynamics You Should Know About

When you are in a romantic relationship – or any relationship for that matter – your first concern should be that it is healthy for both of you. However, all too often we get so close that we can’t see what’s right in front of us, and we completely miss healthy (and unhealthy) traits. Are any of these a part of your current relationship dynamic?

1. Co-dependence (Bad)

When one (or both) of you is relying on the other to meet all of your emotional needs, when your self-esteem relies on the other person, that’s co-dependency.It is also co-dependent for one person to enable the other to maintain unhealthy behaviors such as addiction or irresponsibility.Co-dependency can be a major problem within any relationship dynamic.

2. Interdependence (Good)

You rely on each other for support, but you each have your own lives and are self-sufficient. In this scenario you're able to meet your own emotional needs.  Your confidence and self-esteem come from within.

3. Nothing in common (CAN be Bad)

They say opposites attract, but at some point you do need to find common ground. This means you both are willing to compromise a little and meet in the middle on some things. However, if one is giving more than the other, that could be a red flag.

4. Key shared interests (Good)

Having some shared interests is great for a healthy relationship dynamic.  Some of the big ones, especially for people who are considering marriage or a long-term relationship, include politics, whether or not to have children, religion, and where to live (e.g. certain cities, near family, urban vs suburban, etc.). Only you can define the key interests that you want to share with your significant other.

5. No physical chemistry (Bad)

There may be times that you don’t feel that electric spark between you and that is pretty normal in any relationship. You may not even feel it the first few times you go out due to nerves. But if after awhile you find that you never really feel that chemistry between you and the person you are with, that probably means it isn’t going to happen.

6. Physical chemistry off the charts (Good)

When you are dating someone it’s good to feel strong chemistry with them. A powerful attraction can work wonders for any budding relationship. Some people can take this too far, though. Physical chemistry is a powerful thing and can sometimes override your other instincts. If all you have is physical chemistry and not much more then that can be a recipe for disaster. If this is you, it's important to stay mindful as you navigate whether he/she is right for you.

7. He/She is your number one critic (UGLY)

Honesty and transparency is a definite plus in any relationship dynamic. However, if you feel like the other person is always putting you down or making you feel bad about yourself, that is a huge red flag. If you feel like the person you are with is your number one critic, it's important to be honest with them about your perception. If they try to turn it on you and say that it’s all in your head or that you are crazy (in other words, invalidating your feelings of being constantly criticized), that's not a good sign.

8. He/She is your biggest fan (Good)

Having someone who will lift you up, support you, and encourage you is a wonderful gift. Sure, they may offer constructive criticism from time to time, but they will most often do it with kindness and consideration for your feelings. You don’t want someone who just says yes to everything. However, it is great when the person you are with thinks you’re the most awesome person on the planet (at least most of the time).


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